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Most mental disorders have a physical basis...so many of them aren't actually mental disorders, like the previous poster said, they just manifest themselves in ways that are commonly misconstrued as mental issues.
Take a deep breath, Tom. I know it's hard to stay calm, but that's what Anthony needs to see in you-that it is ok, and everything is under control. I'm sorry I missed your IM, and I hope you see this in the morning.
My step-son's mom is an asshole, too. She hasn't seen him in months...and while we haven't driven him out there, she knows where we live and hasn't lifted a finger to see him. That makes it a lot harder on you, because you have to be both parents at once...nurturer and disciplinarian, and it's a tough balance to strike. But it's obvious to me how much you care about your son, and you really need to stop beating yourself up. We all make mistakes in parenting. Nobody is perfect at this...the little buggers don't come with instructions, and they are all different, so what works for one won't work with another. You do the best you can, and don't get down on yourself for things you did before you started looking into this. We do have to teach them right from wrong, and we do have to teach them respect for authority, self-control, and all those things that will make them prodoctive adults. Having ADHD, or any other behavioural or chemical problems doesn't change that, so chances are what you did was fine, given the knowledge you had at the time.
Hugs,
Chase
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