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tekart · 01-25-2002, 07:59 PM

Hey...here's some more 'fun things 2 do at K-Mart" for your reading pleasure!

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store

3. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in

4. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"

5. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department

6.Try on bras over top of your clothes

7. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"

8. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all on and turn the volumes to "10"

9. Play with the automatic doors

10. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!" etc See if they play along to avoid embarrassment

11. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"

12. Repeat Number 11 in the jewelry department

13. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually

14. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins

15. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field

16. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow Magic!"

17. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath

18. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners

19. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics

20. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

21. TP as much of the store as possible

22. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles

23. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down

24. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

25. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

26. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose

27. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with GI Joes vs the X-Men

28. Take bets on the battle described above

29. Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs GI Janes (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

30. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are Act as spastic as possible

31. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room

32. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible"

33. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags

34. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags

35. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them

36. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store

37. Two words: "Marco Polo"

38. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc

39. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics

40. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels

41. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the
42. clothes are talking to them

43. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won! I mean you kissed ME darling" Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions

46. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

47. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out

48. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it

49. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie"

50. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles

51. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word

52. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away Continue to do this until they leave the department

53. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon

54. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles

55. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)" When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)"

56. Hold indoor shopping cart races

57. Redress the mannequins as you see fit

58. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles

59. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out

60. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap

61. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time
62. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

63. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, ie, "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

64. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive"

65. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters

66. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it!

67. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming "

01-25-2002, 07:59 PM
tekart Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: somwhere in time... Posts: 368	Hey...here's some more 'fun things 2 do at K-Mart" for your reading pleasure! 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store 3. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in 4. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!" 5. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department 6.Try on bras over top of your clothes 7. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy" 8. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all on and turn the volumes to "10" 9. Play with the automatic doors 10. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!" etc See if they play along to avoid embarrassment 11. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?" 12. Repeat Number 11 in the jewelry department 13. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually 14. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins 15. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field 16. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow Magic!" 17. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath 18. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners 19. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics 20. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman Come, Robin--to the Batcave!" 21. TP as much of the store as possible 22. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles 23. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down 24. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,"Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 25. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!" 26. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose 27. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with GI Joes vs the X-Men 28. Take bets on the battle described above 29. Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs GI Janes (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!) 30. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are Act as spastic as possible 31. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room 32. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible" 33. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags 34. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags 35. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them 36. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store 37. Two words: "Marco Polo" 38. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc 39. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics 40. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels 41. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the 42. clothes are talking to them 43. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won! I mean you kissed ME darling" Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions 46. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" 47. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out 48. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it 49. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie" 50. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles 51. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word 52. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away Continue to do this until they leave the department 53. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon 54. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles 55. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)" When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)" 56. Hold indoor shopping cart races 57. Redress the mannequins as you see fit 58. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles 59. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out 60. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap 61. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time 62. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?" 63. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, ie, "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 64. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive" 65. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters 66. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it! 67. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming " __________________ Sticks an stones may break my bones but words may devastate my inner child for ever!