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Go fucking get some help John. You need help. PLEASE for all that has holes, go get help. I have seen this behaviour in my mother when I was 6. Now 20 years later she is a complete paranoid skitzo mess and nobody can or is willing to help her. She is a danger to herself and those who live with/near her becuase of her delusions.
Your's are getting out of control. Just talk to a doctor. Casually mention your behaviour and delusional banter to him/her. I guarantee you'll be given the help you need. Don't worry, they won't incarserate you anywhere. They will probably prescribe Risperidol to help clear your mind and help calm your compulsions. maybe even a mild sedative for moments when you feel 'out of control'
I can see very familiar behaviour in your banter. Get help John.
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