Quote:
Originally posted by punkworld
Thanks for showing how women indeed do not understand that this is a bad thing.
For all you women here, read closely. This may enlighten you a bit and, with a bit of luck, might even make you less of a lifesucking leech.
When you try to change someone - even if it is with the best of intentions - it shows a really big lack of respect for that person. As adults, we're expected to have both autonomy and responsibility, and taking away from that is extremely disrespectful. It's like you're treating someone as a child instead of an equal. Even worse, it's taking away from someone's integrity.
Now, most women think that they are just "helping out". However, let's look at another similar situation:
Many women really want to lose weight. Imagine their man trying to help them with that. Wouldn't that be great?
Now imagine their man trying to "help" them by constantly nagging them about their weight. Imagine him regularly surprising them with "subtle" hints like diet books, gym subscriptions, etc. Imagine him reminding them not to eat too much when eating at nice restaurants. Imagine him answering a question like "Do you think I'm fat?" with "Well, you could stand to lose some weight honey".
Screaming, your saying he achieved those things "because of you" says it all. In an equal relationship, you may help eachother, encourage eachother, but people still get the credit for their own actions.
Apparently, in your relationship that isn't the case. His success is because of you. Congratulations, you've successfully mentally castrated your fiancé.
(note that this is not directed towards all women, just the dark-spirited succubi among you... i.e. the majority)
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Hey punkworld, wassup, remember me from the Rand discussion? Yeah.
Anyway, I'm at the office (working) and my lady (Eliza) IMs this thread, tells me I gotta give a male voice to the otherwise wholly abstract (never gonna meet him/doesn't exist) ideal that is being described here. [Nice set-up for myself, eh!?]
The truth is, YES, I am grateful for someone in my life whose ideas and ideals I respect enough to make my own. I'm not wanting for opinions on ANYTHING -- believe me. But, I think part of this crazy experience called life ought to be striving to improve yourself, to triumph over the impulses that keep us lazy and self-serving. [This should begin to sound familair from our last thread-conversation]. Sometimes, the ideas that inspire us to "more" come from within ourselves. But sometimes, amazin people come into our lives, bringing ideas and ideals with them we never would have found or sought otherwise. Thanks, Eliza for being not only my inspiration, but the bringer of worthy standards for me to live up to.
j-