It's good.
2 quick things:
The phrasing of "declarations of love" especially on the word declarations is weird for me.
Also, the transition to the chorus at that point doesn't fit right (again, for me) like blunt, hurried... needs something to smooth it.
2nd transition to chorus hits better, I don't know if it's the preparation from the first doing that or just the flow at that point.
I'm very sensitive to music, so maybe it won't hit others the same.
Good otherwise, I could easily picture that on the radio or on mtv in the 80's which would make it more than socially acceptable nowadays.
I like the voice too, it's haunting and memorable. Good luck with your music - was my first dream that I've strayed way off course from.
