http://www.supercalafragalistic.com/avpreview.htm
ALIEN VS. PREDATOR - 1/10
"Quite possibly the worst movie of the year, this disaster of a summer popcorn flick insults the audience's intelligence and disregards the amount of time taken away from the viewer's life while watching this cliché-ridden waste of time. What could have been an interesting battle between two of sci-fi's most beloved creatures of the last few decades quickly becomes the biggest let down and a disgrace to both of the franchises (as if they hadn't done so themselves previously).
The blame lies in the shaky hands of Paul W.S. Anderson, the director of the two failed game-to-screen adaptations of "Resident Evil" and Mortal Kombat". Since he wrote the story, screenplay, and directed it, it's safe to say that all fingers point to Anderson on this one. Sanaa Lathan and Lance Henriksen's talents are wasted with the horrendous dialogue and and shameful hamming needed for their barely-likeable characters. In fact, it's safe to say that none of the characters are worth caring about, so when they are picked off, it's just another for the body count.
Since critics were (not surprisingly) denied a screening of the film, it's safe to mention how ridiculous the plot is since it has already been released. Of course the viewer is always expected to suspend disbelief, but this is a little much to ask. How do the Aliens and the Predators meet, you ask? Apparently the Predators used to bring the Aliens to Earth to hunt them to prove what great warriors they were. When things got out of control, the Predators blew everyone up, including the Aztecs, whom were "enslaved" by the Predators, which is supposed to explain the craftwork of the temples. Anyway, a greedy multi-millionaire finds a "lost city" and digs to find...well, you can figure it out. Sound bad enough? Wait! There's more: You'll see a Matrix-style slow-mo scene with Aliens flying in the face of the humans, a Predator running in slow-motion with a human (don't ask), and an E.T.-like ending for the Predators. Speaking of the ending, I won't spoil it for you if you actually feel compelled to disregard the warning, but if you've seen the other awful "Vs." ("Freddy Vs. Jason"), this has pretty much the same exact final scene. Avoid this one at all costs, folks. It's a stinker."
