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Old 08-14-2004, 10:13 AM  
CDSmith
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
You Americans really crack me up

George Dubya still doesn't know if Bin Laden is alive! After numerous
rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive", Osama himself
decided to send George Bush a message in his own handwriting to let him
know
that he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared
to
contain a coded message: 370HSSV-0773H Bush was baffled, so he typed
it
out and e-mailed it to Colin Powell.
Colin and his aides had no clue either so they sent it to the CIA. No
one could solve it, so it went to the NSA and then to MIT and NASA and
the Secret Service.
Eventually they asked Britain's MI-6 for help. They cabled the White
House: "Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down."

**************************************************

Three men, an American, a Russian, and a Puerto Rican, are standing on a bridge. The Russian removes a bottle of vodka from his coat, takes a sip, and then throws the bottle over the bridge.

The Puerto Rican asks, "Why did you do that? That was perfectly good bottle of vodka!"

The Russian replies, "There's plenty of that where I come from."

The Puerto Rican doesn't want to be upstaged, so he removes a joint from his pocket, takes a long puff, and then throws the rest of it over the bridge.

The American exclaims, "Hey! What the hell did you do that for? That was a perfectly good joint!"

The Puerto Rican replies, "There's plenty of that where I come from."

Now, the American doesn't want to be upstaged, so he searches through his pockets but he can't find anything. He looks around for a moment, then grabs the Puerto Rican and throws him over the bridge.

The Russian exclaims, "What the hell did you do that for?"

The American replies, "There's plenty of that where I come from."

**************************************************

An eccentric US billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall. He
called in an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said, "I
am a US history buff, and I would like your interpretation of the last
thing that went through Custer's mind before he died. I am going out of
town on business for a week, and when I return, I expect it to be
completed."

Upon his return, the billionaire went to the library to examine the new
mural. To his surprise, what he found was a painting of a cow with a
halo, surrounded by hundreds of Indians in various stages and positions
of making love. Furious, he called the artist in.

"What the hell is this?" screamed the billionaire.

"Why, that's exactly what you asked for." said the artist smugly.

"No. I didn't ask for pornographic filth! What I asked for was your
interpretation of the last thing that went through Custer's mind!"

"And there you have it," said the artist. "I call it 'Holy Cow! Look at
all those fucking Indians!'"
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