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Old 07-29-2004, 07:39 PM  
jade_dragon
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: NEW ORLEANS/Baton Rouge BABY!
Posts: 1,737
I will see if i can find the listing i had of processors and their rates/fees. It was a pain in the ass for me because we needed a physical goods processor who allowed adult novelty and we did not want to pay for it, spent a day calling banks and emailing processors

Funny story: All the women act really giddy when you say adult novelty ESPECIALLY on the west coast. But the best was when I had this convo with a guy at Wells Fargo:




"Hello this is Johnathan how can I help you" (enthusiastic voice)

"yeah I am looking for a processor to handle my tangible goods ecommerce business sales"

"excellent we can do that, what kind of goods"

"adult novelty" (cross my fingers at this point that they will accept and have a good rate)

"sure we can do that" (now using very excited voice)

"what are your percentages and fees"

"they are blah blah blah blah blah blah"

"now what kinda products are you selling again"

"adult novelty"

"like what"

"like adult novelty" (starting to wonder at this point)

"like what specifically"

"You know (pause trying to think of how not to shock this guy) "vibrators, lube, dildos"

(akward silence and the sound of him breathing)

"No we do not do that, SORRY we can not help you" (in what I can only say was a hurt and then upset voice)

"ok thanks then" (trying to make the poor guys pain go away by being nice)

"yeah ok have a nice day" (sounding like i just told him the relationship was over)

I guess this guy was out in Utah or something, wish I had it recorded!
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