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DENTIST
ORIN
When I was younger, just a bad little kid,
My mama noticed funny things I did,
Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head
That's when my mama said
CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON
What did she say?
ORIN
She said, "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay
You'll be a dentist
You have a talent for causin' things pain
Son, be a dentist
People will pay you to be inhumane
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist
You'll be a success
CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON
Here he is, folks the leader of the plaque!
Watch him suck up that gas!
Oh, my god!
He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?
PATIENT
Oh that hurts! I'm not numb!
ORIN
Oh, shut up. Open wide. here I come!
I am your dentist
PATIENT
Goodness gracious!
ORIN
And I enjoy the career that I picked
CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON
Really love it
ORIN
I am your dentist
PATIENT
Fitting braces
ORIN
And I get off on the pain I inflict
CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON
Really love it
ORIN
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid
CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON
Bicuspid
ORIN
It's swell though they tell me I'm maladjusted
And though it may cause my patients distress,
Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me
I know, I know, that my mama's proud of me
Oh, mama
'Cause I'm a dentist and a success
Say ah!
PATIENT
Ah!
ORIN
Say ah!
PATIENT
Ah!
ORIN
Say ah!
PATIENT
Ah!
ORIN
Now spit!
- Little Shop of Horrors
__________________
Sleep well, and dream of large women.
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