Quote:
Originally posted by chase
It's entirely possible that I am completely wrong, I am certainly not always right, but I believe that in MOST cases, what I said still stands true. I agree completely that accidental pregnancies happen among all ages, but when it is an adult, they are prepared to handle the repercussions much better than a teenager. But pregnancy isn't really my point...the inability to make sound decisions is. i was on the pill, and I used condoms as well with the one partner I had before I got pregnant by my son's father. But then I made a STUPID decision to drink with someone I didn't know very well who was older, and I got pregnant as a result of that decision. that's my point, teenagers don't make the best decisions.
You are right that severe mistakes in upbringing can have major effects-like having a father who is out of the picture, as is the case with this girl, since her mother is dating the friend of the OP. A father's role in a little girl's life sets the stage for her relationships with men in general...in most cases...until she is mature enough to let the weight of the fathers decisions come off of her shoulders.
A teenager isn't trusted to make a decision regarding cigarettes or alcohol until they are 18 and 21, at least here in the US. They aren't trusted with a car until they are sixteen, in most states. There is a good reason for this...they are not mature enough to make a sound decision at that stage. Why should they be trusted to make a decision that could have massive effects on their lives and futures. Yes, it's true that some are exceptions to this, as there are to any "rule". Yes, it could have no future effect...if you are lucky, and I'm sincerely glad that you are one of the lucky ones. But there are diseases that can render you sterile, kill you, and otherwise make your life less than it could have been, and of course, there is the possibility of teen pregnancy. If it was wise to place these choices in the hands of people before they are mature enough to be responsible with them, we wouldn't have such a high teen pregnancy rate, teen STD rate, and teens getting in accidents, whether from DWI or not.
The difference is that a 25 yo is an adult. He is mature enough to recognize the problems it can cause, and ought to have enough respect for this girl to let her grow up some.
I respect your opinion, but I stilll stick to mine.
As much as I adore my son, my life would have been much different, and I would have been much more successful if his father had been responsible enough to not even let the decision fall into my sixteen year old hands. I had to struggle to even graduate high school, and yes, I did it, and with my class, but if I knew then what I know now, I would have been much better equipped to handle that choice.
I guess that's what my point boils down to: wisdom comes with age and experience, and sixteen years typically isn't enough to have it.
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Well, I think every decision you make in life has risks attached to it. For instance, you cross the road, you could get hit by a car. You kiss someone, you could get mono or hep b. You eat chicken, you could choke on the bones. You exercise too little, you could get fat and eventually die of a heart attack.
With proper information about sex, it doesn't have to pose a greater risk than most other daily activities. Most certainly, it isn't something that's too difficult for a teen to decide about.
I'm pretty sure part of our difference in opinion comes from the difference in our backgrounds. You got pregnant as a teen, whereas I grew up in the country with the lowest teen pregnancy rate in the world. (In my highschool and university(!), I've never seen or even heard about anyone getting pregnant - apart from teachers ofcourse. And it's not like we all wait with sex til we're 18 here. Quite the opposite, actually.)
What I do know for sure, however, is that while we have very low teen pregnancy, std and abortion rates over here, it still is very common here for guys in their twenties to hook up with girls in their teens. So it seems unlikely that the biggest reason for teen pregnancies etc. is older guys having sex with younger girls.
If anything, I think one of the two parties involved being a bit older and thus more experienced can actually be safer and a better experience altogether.