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chase · 07-29-2004, 12:10 PM

I'm gonna throw somereality in this mix.....when I was 16 I hung out with a 22 year old a few times. One time we were drinking, and even though I don't remember doing anything, I got pregnant. Having been with only one person in the past, and having just broke up two weeks before when he went to boot camp, I assumed it was his. Big friggin mess. Had the baby a week before I turned 17. He's 10 now. A whole lot of the reason I hung out with older guys is beause my own dad skipped out and I was looking for that approval...easiest way to get approval...well, do I even need to say it? Didn't realize then why I was doing it...not til I was old enough to understand how relationships, self-esteem, and so on all works.
Moral of the story being this....we all do dumb things when we're young. That's because we don't have the capacity to make well-thought out decisions like an adult does, and we have that "it will never happen to me" invincibility syndrome.
You are the adult in this situation, and it is your responsibility to make a well-thought out decision. How would you feel if it were your daughter? And do you think her life will be better in the long run for having succumbed to her adolescent hormones? If you care about her at all, you really have to consider at what point you are taking advantage of her youth and inexperience....even if she's had tons of lovers, you don't have to be the next in line to exploit a minor's insecurity. Otherwise, even if she begs for it, you are satisfying your hormones at another human's expense, and that's really not cool.
Teenagers think they know it all....they think they can handle anything that comes their way....but we adults know that it isn't true. It takes a long time to be mature enough to handle the ramifications of having sex, and I just don't think a 16 year old is there yet.
And just because she is letting her hormones make her decisions doesn't mean you have to. Just wait....I'm not saying don't date her...go ahead and hang out with her and see if you really have that connection that will be worth taking the risks, but wait to have sex until she's older, more mature, and you are both sure it is something you want to do. You are the adult, so you have to set the pace and be responsible with the trust that has been placed in you.

07-29-2004, 12:10 PM
chase Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Tampa Bay Posts: 6,019	I'm gonna throw somereality in this mix.....when I was 16 I hung out with a 22 year old a few times. One time we were drinking, and even though I don't remember doing anything, I got pregnant. Having been with only one person in the past, and having just broke up two weeks before when he went to boot camp, I assumed it was his. Big friggin mess. Had the baby a week before I turned 17. He's 10 now. A whole lot of the reason I hung out with older guys is beause my own dad skipped out and I was looking for that approval...easiest way to get approval...well, do I even need to say it? Didn't realize then why I was doing it...not til I was old enough to understand how relationships, self-esteem, and so on all works. Moral of the story being this....we all do dumb things when we're young. That's because we don't have the capacity to make well-thought out decisions like an adult does, and we have that "it will never happen to me" invincibility syndrome. You are the adult in this situation, and it is your responsibility to make a well-thought out decision. How would you feel if it were your daughter? And do you think her life will be better in the long run for having succumbed to her adolescent hormones? If you care about her at all, you really have to consider at what point you are taking advantage of her youth and inexperience....even if she's had tons of lovers, you don't have to be the next in line to exploit a minor's insecurity. Otherwise, even if she begs for it, you are satisfying your hormones at another human's expense, and that's really not cool. Teenagers think they know it all....they think they can handle anything that comes their way....but we adults know that it isn't true. It takes a long time to be mature enough to handle the ramifications of having sex, and I just don't think a 16 year old is there yet. And just because she is letting her hormones make her decisions doesn't mean you have to. Just wait....I'm not saying don't date her...go ahead and hang out with her and see if you really have that connection that will be worth taking the risks, but wait to have sex until she's older, more mature, and you are both sure it is something you want to do. You are the adult, so you have to set the pace and be responsible with the trust that has been placed in you.