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Joke Thread... Post em if ya got em
Ill start it out... keep em coming
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The
officer says, "I clocked you at 80 mile per hour,
sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it
on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs
calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says
sweetly from the passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know
that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife
and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, " You should be thankful your
radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the s! econd ticket for the illegal radar
detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through
clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut."
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing
your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it
off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of
my back pocket."
The wife says," Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have
your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns
to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband
always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."
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