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Old 05-29-2001, 11:34 PM  
boneprone
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Boneprone's Famous Almond Rocca - Cat Shit Story

Ok, this is a famous yet very true story of the boneprone family in my younger years in High School some 10 years ago.
To this day the Urban Legend goes on in the very School I attended, and the kids in the Park Blocks still laugh about this some 10 years later.


Her name was Jan Watt. She was the meanest teacher you could ever imagine.. What a bitch.. She would put students on the spot in class, make em feel stupid, and bully students that werent in her School Newspaper click.

One day she picked on the wrong person.. She picked at the BONE himself.. Big mistake..

It was the night before Christmas break, and my parents had been gone for a week and it was my job to take care of our cats.

Naturally I let the Cat shit accumulate in the cat box till the very last day to scoop just before the parents came home.. There was SOOO MUCH CAT SHIT in the box you'd think it had been a month since cleaning the box.. The house began to smell!

My friends hounded me to change it.. So being the creative mind I am I made good use of the pounds of cat shit. I bought a can of Almond Rocca, dumped out the almond rocca candy, and replaced the jumbo can with ALL THE CAT SHIT form the Cat box..

For those of ya that dont know what Almond Rocca looks like, it looks like Cat Shit with kitty litter on it.. EXACTLY!

So I filled the can. Wrapped it in Christmas wrap with a Bow on it with a card and put it in Jan Watts teacher box early that morning..

My buddy had her class first period and ran out of class fast to let us know the can was on her desk unopened!

We went periods 1-4 with her not touching it.. But after lunch the plan began to unfold.

She decided it was time to open the can and have a after lunch snack.. You see this class room was the best because half of it was a class room, the other half in the back was the school newspaper lab.. A place many people skiped cllss and hung out at.. So we (my group of buddies) were all in the back watching this.. we were very discreate of course.

She opend the fucking can, and we thought she would be smart enough to notice that there was no seal on the can, but being the fat bitch pig she was she didnt notice.. She reached into the can of catshit, grabed a nice healty piece and put it in her mouth.

It was amazing! She spit it into her hand and said damn, that was a bad piece and threw it out.. I swear she chewed on it. Then the bitch grabed another piece put it in her mouth and sat back.. Spit it out and said damn, this is rotten or something.. Then the teachers kiss ass pet went up and pulled some out of the can sniffed it and said yeah I wouldnt eat these.. It was soo fucking funny. The fat bitch left the cat shit on her desk, and it was there for the rest of the day.. She was such a fat pig, that she didnt toss it! She kept it on her desk like she was gunna have more later.. She didnt even realize she was biting into my Cats crap with kitty litter every time she wanted a treat.. We were hoping that students would dig in to the can and help themselves, but they could tell by looking at it something was wrong..

We came back 3 weeks later from winter break and it was still there!! When she wasnt looking we moved it onto the top of the heater to cook.. The smell came out of this old shit, and the whole room reaked of shit by 6th period.. She was too stupid to figure out where it came from..

Later one of my smart ass frineds in 7th period said its coming from this can of cat shit!! Students ran over to smell it and everyone confirmed it was cat shit, it smelled sooo bad..

It had just clicked to her that she had eaten shit 3 weeks ago, and she left the room.. She came back later and was quiet.. She never told the calss that she had ate some, but many of us knew.. It was a joke for years..

Two years ago she retired, and as leader of the boneprone family I would like to tell her that as a teacher she changed my life forever.. Because of this and her it made me into the person I am today, and I thank her..


So if any of ya get Almond Roca from me, you'll know better than to eat it if it looks like shit.

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