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You don't have that much power or control over another person to make them admit to something they don't want to.....unless you're willing to use torture techniques, violence or invest a lot of time to playing games, mind fucking her or manipulation.
I have found that the straight forward, honest technique works the best way. I.E. try saying to her "This is what I heard and this is how I felt....." and then say "And this is what I need to do for me....".
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