-=HUNGRYMAN=-

That SOUTHERN COMFORT will kill ya man !!

I was about 19 or 20, and I had stopped in my local watering hole for a "couple" drinks with a buddy of mine ...

There was this FUCKING INCREDIBLE new waitress that had just started that night. Me and my buddy both had a woodie the size of Florida for her!!

We started with a few drinks ... I decided I wanted a few "SOUTHERN COMFORTS", a liquor another friend had recently introduced me to, and was quite pleasant tasting ... but tonight I was going to do "doubles", with a beer chaser between (perhaps trying just a wee bit to impress "Jacqueline" ).

Within the hour, she announced that she was getting off shift, so I straightened up my Mastercard tab with her, and gave her like a $10 tip, which was worth every penny of it for the gorgeous smile she shot me.

When she was changed into her street clothes, she came to say goodnight to us. I invited her to have a drink with us, and she agreed. By now I was already on probably my 4th or 5th double SC, and was feeling quite good. Anybody who has had the pleasure of seeing me drunk, knows that I am a very HAPPY drunk ...

One drink turned into several (Fuck! I hate when that happens! ), and since Jacquie didn't work the next day, she stayed and drank like a trooper too!

We closed the bar, and then walked my buddy home about 2 minutes away. Once we has home, Jacquie and I decided that we were BIG TIME hungry, so we would take a cab up to the mall to the 24 hour MACS MILK (about the only thing open at that time in a town of 12,000 people). By this time the fresh air had really hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was totally FUCKED !!!

We got into the cab, and proceeded up Hugel Avenue towards the mall. Hugel avanue was having new strom sewers put in that summer. and was only resurfaced on the opposite side to the one we were travelling on. I swear to god, that the fucking driver deliberately hit every pothole in the road, getting great amusement from watching me try with everything I had, not to lose my cookies in the car. As soon as we arrived at Mac's Milk, I flew out of the cab, and went to the side of the building, where a pile of empty bread trays were awaiting an early morning pickup, and I PUKED ... and PUKED ... and PUKED ... and PUKED !!! I was amazed that such a quantity of vomit could come out of one person !!!

I stood there admiring my modern art creation for a couple seconds, and then I PUKED some more ... It just kept coming!!!
Somebody call Guiness !!

By the time I was done, the bread trays were in serious danger of floating away, but I FELT LIKE A NEW MAN !!!

I smiled back at the taxi driver who stared at me in somewhat disbelief as I went into the store, met up with Jacquie over by the microwavable horseburgers and donairs, grabbed a couple of each I think, and we went back to my house and watched "The Whoopie Boys" on VHS. We ended up falling asleep in each others arms. I had a rule about girls who fucked on the first date ... they would never get a second, as there was no challenge in them. Jacquie passed the test with flying colors, and I was glad for that, as we developed a long lasting friendship for many years to come. We did end up boinking each others brains out one night about 2 years later, but we both knew that it was purely recreational, and did not lead to anything else (but what a night it was!!LOL).

We both are married with families now, but I still try to touch base with her every time I go to visit my mother in Midland. Her husband is a very kewl guy (very fucking lucky guy too!). I often kicked myself for not pursuing her romantically, but having her as a true friend is consolation enough.

Anyways ... getting back to my SOUTHERN COMFORT bender ... the next afternoon, when we totalled my mastercard receipts, and deducted her drinks, best we could figure is that I had 13 double SC shots, and 12 beer chasers ... to this day, even the smell of SOUTHERN COMFORT makes me nausious

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The Black Sheep of the Boneprone Family
I like to rub HERTURN on my nipples



[This message has been edited by -=HUNGRYMAN=- (edited 11-27-2001).]