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I have a different version. Someone sent me this 4 or 5 years ago and I've always kept it because I thought it was so funny.
Womens personal ads:
(HOW TO INTERPRET THEM)
40-ish. . . 48.
Adventurous... has had more partners than you ever will.
Athletic... flat-chested.
Average looking... ugly.
Beautiful... pathological liar.
Contagious smile... bring your penicillin.
Educated... college dropout.
Emotionally secure... medicated.
Feminist... fat ball-buster.
Free spirit. . . substance user.
Friendship first. . . trying to live down a reputation as a slut.
Fun... annoying.
Gentle... comatose.
Good listener... borderline autistic.
New-age... all body hair, all the time.
Old-fashioned ... lights out, missionary position only.
Open-minded... desperate.
Outgoing. . . loud.
Passionate. . . loud.
Poet... depressive schizophrenic.
Redhead... shops in the Clairol section.
Rubenesque... grossly fat.
Romantic. . . looks better by candlelight.
Voluptuous... very fat.
Weight proportional to height... hugely fat.
Wants soul mate... one step away from stalking.
Widow... nagged first husband to death.
Young at heart... toothless crone.
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War National Damn Champions Eagle
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