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Get yourself a bottle of hot sauce. Stuff so hot that you will not be able to stand it.
Cats
If your cat bothers you while you eat put a little bit of hot sauce on its lips, and everytime it bothers you let it smell the bottle. After that she will not come near your food anymore.
Dogs
Put some hot sauce in a spray bottle and everytime the dog barks or chews you spray the sauce in its mouth.
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