Quote:
Originally posted by wyldblyss
My Bengal cat rules. He is not declawed so he can keep you amused for hours while you try to stop yourself from bleeding to death because you got scratched while trying to trim his claws.
Most people have to spend a lot of money to be up all night..they go and party. My cat saves me this money...he keeps me up all night with that lion moan thing he does.
My cat believes in supporting up and coming companies...his favorite is the Febreze company. He sprays and I spend a fortune on Febreze trying to get rid of the god awful smell. if that doesn't work, I have to throw the item out and buy a new one...also good for world economy.
My cat has distinguished tastes...that is why he won't eat anything generic...in fact....he won't even eat anything but the most expensive cat food at the local pet boutique.
My cat is not an attention hound...in fact he couldn't care less whether I lived or died...unless of course if he is hungry...continous meowing until I get him food.....or in the middle of the night when my earplugs have prevented the lion moan from waking me up...he will lay half on my chest...the other half over my nose and mouth....hence preventing me from doing something i enjoy...breathing.
My cat is an interior decorator...he decided that he didn't like the plants in the house...so he dug and pissed in the pots so I had no choice but to get rid of them.
All in all he is a very annoying, selfish, aloof cat that has nothing going for him but his incredible good looks...after all, he is no ordinary housecat....he has his rossete spots just like the wild cats....and I only had to pay about $1,200 bucks for him...gee....am I smart or what?
|
This one had me laughing my ass off..... LMAO
Sounds like my Josie. She is a fucking freak. She is everything I hate in a cat but I love her. Here is a few things about her:
Josie has this semi-retardation thing happening, I am not sure what, but she isn't right and she has issues, she has great big blue eyes that are seriously crossed.
I call her "The Keeper of the Food" because if she is in one of her moods, she will sit in guard of the food and if any of the other 3 want to eat, she slaps them in the head and spits at them til they walk off scowling at her. Then she'll eat until it is gone, only to take a few steps and puke it up in my floor, all in an effort to keep the others from eating it.
The ONLY time she is happy is if she has this little plastic lid she loves. Not sure what the deal is but if you have ever bought syrup, those little clear plastic lids that come on top of them at the store? If she gets one of those, she walks around with it in her mouth screeching like a wild fucking idiot and will do it til we throw something in her direction and make her drop the lid and go investigate that so we can get the lid while she isn't looking. She rolls around on it, cuddles with it, walks around with it in her mouth and if one of the others tries to see what she has, she gets WICKED mean.
She'll be sitting there letting you pet her and then she'll just get up and spring off like you hit her or something. She has a HUGE fucking mouth that will wake the dead if she chooses to. She had been tearing shit up in my house so bad that we had to get hers and Roadie's front claws removed and ever since we did that, she has had even MORE issues....... I swear she is a psycho..... but we love her, not to mention with her issues, no one else would ever care for her, she'd be put down.... so we keep her and just deal with her neurotic episodes. lol