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The thing that you have to realize is that you're site is a store. If another adult site is gonna link up a store, it's gonna be to one of their sponsors.
SO, branching off of my previous comments, you're gonna have to make them wanna link you up. I know that I'm not gonna go out and put a nice high up link on your page when my link is burried on your page. As with most successful sites out there, you have to learn that in order to get traffic, you're gonna have to give it out. Put up a nice link section higher up on your page to point out some other links, don't hide them down below.
Jer is also right, banners aren't as effective as they used to be. Go for some text links also.
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