Dress your dog up like a pig and they will most likely leave him alone.
Go with the voyeur content idea. That is awesome.
There is a tribe of those bastards that follow me all over Portland. These people stink. I swear, I can not go 3 days without running into them either at the theater or a restaurant or even the mall. I shit you not when I tell you that these nasty mother fuckers drive dodge CARAVANS. How perfect is that?
They steal everything in sight and let the kids run wild as a distraction. If you catch on and ignore the kids so you can keep your eye on the adults then the kids rob you blind. Did I mention that they stink?
There servers should start asking "Is anything alright?" They would have fewer problems that way. They ask for special this and substitute that and then have the balls to complain about the food and service. They demand a big ass discount while stealing the jelly packs, ketchup, silverware, plates, and even the dinner table itself. After all of this they pull out a wad of $100 bills and never leave a tip. Then to top the cake... They fucking stink.
The good side to dining in the same place is that if I fuck with them, which I feel is my true reason for living, then I get better service and have even had meals comped for running them out.
They are so damn cheap that I bet they share the same bath water between the 50 of them when it is time for their bi-monthly bath. Shit I bet they complain to the gas company that their bath water does not stay hot enough for them all to use it. The sad thing is that they always get their way. Probably pay half of what I pay for my utilities.
Then there are their houses. Big brick ones with circular driveways and stone lions out front. Spotless yards but you never see anybody doing yardwork. It must be magic or something.
My grandmother used to live next door to a band of them. Every summer they would fill the huge underground pool... with a hose that they would steal from grandma and guess who's water they hooked it up to? Kinda strange that an 89 year old lady, living by herself, has a water and sewer bill that goes up 5000% at the beginning of every summer.
They actually filed a lawsuit against my grandmother when one of the little bastards tripped on the curb in front of her house. There is no sidewalk there. What in the hell was he doing in her yard in the first place? Oh yeah, he was stealing her garden decorations. Did I mention that he had a very bad odor?
I left a case of deodorant on their porch but I think they used it to write the price, on the windshields, of the cars parked in front of their house.
I do not like them very much.
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Aaron Matthews Productions
aaron-matthews.com