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Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.
Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what's right.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.: (Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers.
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
Water? Never touch the stuff! Fish fuck in it.
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I like pie.
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