LOL, happy birthday for starters --
I'm going to suggest that you send traffic to one of the numerous sponsors that pays via ePassporte to get started -- these include (and is by no means a complete list) - Flashcash, ARS, Gamma, Topbucks, Conversion Cash, CECash, Nexpectations, etc --
I could get you an account without going through a sponsor but the problem is you can't fund it without a credit card... yet. Soon enough you'll be able to do it with your bank account if you're in the US -- ok, maybe not soon enough for some folks, I'll admit --
but having no way to fund the account initially is kind of a limitation.
If you've got people that want to pay you via ePassporte for something, then have them send you a gift card -- that will open an account for you as well --
Any more questions, let me know and I'll do what I can to hook you up
