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Old 05-11-2004, 12:38 AM  
On-top
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: IN
Posts: 2,283
Here's some more from snopes.com...



In typical folkloric fashion, this item has appeared with a variety of differing details and content since it started making the rounds of the Internet back in 1997. Versions use both British and American spellings of 'tire'; attribute the list to maintenance crews servicing the United States Air Force, the Royal Air Force, and the Australian commercial airline Qantas; and encompass some entries while omitting others. An earlier version of this list included the following items not appearing in the example quoted above:


Defect: The autopilot doesn't.
Action: IT DOES NOW.


Defect: Seat cushion in 13F smells rotten.
Action: Fresh seat cushion on order.


Defect: Turn & slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns.
Action: Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!


Defect: Whining sound heard on engine shutdown.
Action: Pilot removed from aircraft.


Defect: Pilot's clock inoperative.
Action: Wound clock.


Defect: Autopilot tends to drop a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500 pounds.
Action: Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300 pounds.


Defect: #2 ADF needle runs wild.
Action: Caught and tamed #2 ADF needle.


Defect: Unfamiliar noise coming from #2 engine.
Action: Engine run for four hours. Noise now familiar.


Defect: Noise coming from #2 engine. Sounds like man with little hammer.
Action: Took little hammer away from man in #2 engine.


Defect: Whining noise coming from #2 engine compartment.
Action: Returned little hammer to man in #2 engine.


Defect: Flight attendant cold at altitude.
Action: Ground checks OK.


Defect: 3 roaches in cabin.
Action: 1 roach killed, 1 wounded, 1 got away.


Defect: Weather radar went ape!
Action: Opened radar, let out ape, cleaned up mess!
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