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?Greetings young steer? he spoke. ?You were kidnapped, I?m sorry, cow napped by my minion Bessy.? ?But why??, I confusingly pleaded. He responded, ?In your past life you were one of us, that?s right Danielle...
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Here's that steer/cow thing again. Is Danielle a tranny?
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?What the hell?? ?I need a cigarette, that was too weird of a dream even for me to have!?
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You don't need two sets of quotation marks if it is the same person talking. Try it this way: "What the hell? I need a cigarette; that was too weird of a dream even for me to have!" (And to be honest, I would drop the "to have" at the end and leave it with an exclamation point after the word "me")
Your Holiness. It's a title, much like "Your Majesty."
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Our scientists have been working around the clock ever since your demise to track down who you were reincarnated as. Finally we discovered you were a Human attending school at Somersworth High
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Never end a sentence a preposition with. (Try this: "Our scientists have been working around the clock since your demise to track you down. We finally discovered that you were reincarnated as a human who attends school at Somersworth High." *thought: does the name of the school need to be there, or can you just leave that out altogether?*)
I pleaded, confused. Unless you're doing the confusing..?
Watch your punctuation, grammar, spelling and use of capitalization. I see a great many capitalized words that don't need it. You might also remember that every time you switch speakers in a story, you need to make a new paragraph.
Like this for example:
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?Greetings young steer? he spoke. ?You were kidnapped, I?m sorry, cow napped by my minion Bessy.? ?But why??, I confusingly pleaded. He responded, ?In your past life you were one of us, that?s right Danielle, You were once a Cow.? ?16 years and 11 months ago you were slaughtered to become a shipment of McDonald?s food?, he continued. ?You were the leader of our tribe, a true cow sorceress! It was rumored that every human who ate of your body eventually died of an undiscovered form of mad cow disease.?
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?Greetings young steer? he said. ?You were kidnapped, I?m sorry, cow napped by my minion Bessy.?
?But why??, I pleaded, confused.
He responded, ?In your past life you were one of us. That?s right Danielle, you were once a cow.?
?Sixteen years and eleven months ago you were slaughtered to become a shipment of McDonald?s food?, he continued. ?You were the leader of our tribe, a true cow sorceress! It was rumored that every human who ate of your body eventually died of an undiscovered form of mad cow disease.?
Good luck.