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Old 05-02-2004, 06:30 PM  
Elli
Reach for those stars!
 
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 17,991
1. Creative Writing means it still has to make sense.

2. Watch your tenses. Be consistant.
"The next thing I know I was in the middle" should be "the next thing I KNEW I was in the middle"

3. Kidnapped/cow napped would make more sense as "rustled", since that is how cowboys stole cows from each other in the Wild West.

4. The narrator can not be a "steer" and a "sorceress" at the same time. Steers are male.

5. Identify your setting better. You say you're walking home from school, implying an urban or semi-urban setting, when all of a sudden you're in the woods being attacked by a free-ranging cow.

6. Identify yourself up front. Name? Country? Race? etc.

Could be a tight story. Kinda weird so far, but I like weird.
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