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Old 04-30-2004, 08:30 PM  
NoCarrier
We need more free porn
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 16,356
OH my fucking God!!!

What a horrible waste of time! I want my 99 mins back!

I am sure that Jack Black, Ben Stiller and Walken were hoping this was going straight to DVD.

After months, months and months of re-editing and test screenings. Nothing could save this sinking ship. No wonder why the release date was delayed like 3-4 times.

I had hopes.. I mean, 3 awesome actors.

Barry Levinson, what the hell were you thinking!?

The reviews are usually negative with this kind of movie (well, sometimes). And sometimes I just don't give a fuck about the damn critics...

But hey, this time I read the reviews after watching it..

And THEY were fucking right!

Look at this! HAHAHAHHA

The score from Rotten Tomatoes is 2%!!!

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/Envy...55/reviews.php


Reviews counted: 66
Fresh: 1 Rotten: 65
Average Rating: 2.9/10


"Rarely do comedies collapse as swiftly and as utterly as this one."
-- Gary Thompson, PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS

"Everyone involved in Envy has done better work before. Envy isn't good for them or us."
-- Philip Wuntch, DALLAS MORNING NEWS

"A labored misfire."
-- Bruce Westbrook, HOUSTON CHRONICLE

"Not even half-baked."
-- Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE

"Envy isn't a comedy so much as a welter of mugging, pratfalls and goofy attitudes struggling to coalesce into a comedy."
-- Gene Seymour, NEWSDAY

"One of the lamest comedies in recent memory."
-- Lisa Rose, NEWARK STAR-LEDGER

"The low-key picture gets by on the genial charisma of its cast, but it fails to rise to the occasion when it comes to building to a necessary comic pitch."
-- Michael Rechtshaffen, HOLLYWOOD REPORTER

"A forced and flaccid affair."
-- Steven Rea, PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER

"Colorless and flat."
-- Claudia Puig, USA TODAY

"Envy manages the not unimpressive feat of making just about everyone in it look they wish they were somewhere else."
-- Geoff Pevere, TORONTO STAR

"An unusually static affair."
-- Bill Muller, ARIZONA REPUBLIC

"You start to wonder what would happen if someone sprayed some Vapoorizer on the screen."
-- Phil Villarreal, ARIZONA DAILY STAR

"What we need now is a spray that eradicates bad movies. I think I?ll call it Crappy Film Be-Gone. Wanna invest?"
-- David Thomas, FILMCRITIC.COM

"If movies were people, this one would probably harbor deep resentments against pictures that get effortless laughs."
-- Bob Strauss, LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS

"The license plate that reads ?Caca King? in Barry Levinson?s Envy nicley sums up this dreadful ?money vs. friendship? comedy."
-- Nicholas Schager, SLANT MAGAZINE


"...meanders and stumbles before arriving exactly where we expected."
-- Austin O'Connor, LOWELL SUN

"It's a long, long time between chuckles."
-- Nell Minow, MOVIE MOM AT YAHOO! MOVIES

"...the only thing you'll be envious of is the audience in the next theater."
-- Josh Larsen, SUN PUBLICATIONS (CHICAGO, IL)

"Envy is the year?s worst. For its sheer waste of talent [and] unbelievable inanity and crudity... it is hard to see how this could be surpassed."
-- Daniel M. Kimmel, WORCESTER TELEGRAM & GAZETTE

"If Ben Stiller and Jack Black switched parts in Envy, it'd be more interesting. Not good, mind you, but more interesting."
-- Chris Hewitt, ST. PAUL PIONEER PRESS

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last edited by NoCarrier; 04-30-2004 at 08:34 PM..
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