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As your attorney, I would advise you to stop masturbating and begin smoking crack and worshiping Satan. Don't ask why, just do it. Trust me. I'm an attorney. I sign all my letters with esq. on them. Follow my advice and all will be well. I'm not making this up. Trust Uncle Squishy. Really. I'm an attorney. Don't watch TV anymore either. It depletes you of vitamin B-12 faster than masturbation. You need the B-12. Trust me, I'm your attorney.
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