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OFFICIAL 2004 DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION PROGRAM



6:00pm- Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:30pm- Anti-war rally no. 1.
6:40pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00pm- Tribute theme to France.
7:10pm- Collect offerings for al-Zawahri and al-Sadr defense fund.
7:20pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:25pm- Tribute theme to Spain.
7:45pm- Anti-war rally no. 2. (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:00pm- John Kerry presents one side of the issues
8:25pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30pm- Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00pm- Gay marriage ceremony.
9:30pm- * Intermission * (Refreshments hosted by Ted Kennedy)
10:00pm- Flag stomping and defacing ceremony
10:15pm- Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:30pm- Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:40pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50pm- Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
11:00pm- Double gay marriage ceremony.
11:15pm- Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:20pm- John Kerry presents the other side of the issues
11:30pm- 'Free Saddam' pep rally.
11:59pm- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00am - Nomination of Democrat candidate.

12:30am - Ted Kennedy puts another rental car at the bottom of the river with another body in it and "forgets" to notify authorities.