|
The REAL reasons:
1. In Mark Jesus --greatly disturbed-- asks that the cup be taken away. In reality Jesus was like "holy fuck, I never intended for this cult thing to get so far out of control!"
2. In Mark Jesus is seized or captured and the disciples run. In reality, Jesus was glad he wasn't put down like the Branch Davidians who were basically pulling the same scam just during a more cynical time.
3. In Mark, Pilate interrogates Jesus. In reality, Jesus did Pilates daily to keep his lean muscular figure.
4. In Mark, a painfully human Jesus is granted assistance carrying his cross. In reality, Jesus was debating what his last song should be - Kris Kross or Christopher Cross.
5. In Mark Jesus is offered a drink. In reality, Jesus says, "Man, some poison kool aid would go down really well here."
6. In Mark, Jesus lets out a loud cry and breaths his last breath. In reality, Jesus cried out "I can see my house from up here! And, oh yeah, don't forget to tell everyone I rose from the dead!"
Fine, so I'm goin' to hell.
__________________
icq:159548293
|