Quote:
Originally posted by eroswebmaster
It's pretty apparent that's what this mom is doing...she feels like she can't provide in other ways so what does she do...let's her do pretty much as she pleases.
I speak from experience...I grew up with a mother exactly like that.
At the age of 12-13 years old me and my stepbrother were walking the streets of Fort Worth Texas at all hours of the night...I'm talking about 1-2-3 am.
I spent Holidays in bars with my mom tossing $20's my way to go spend on video games etc..if I wanted liquor I could have it...my mom was at that time smoking pot with my older brother..who before 18 was already in juvi halls and had robbed a 7-11 at gunpoint..stolen a car and robbed the local pot dealer.
On the other hand my father was way too strict...we'd go from hot to cold...a mother who let me have all the dirty mags I wanted and a dad who had me in church 3-4 times a week.
The thing is there has to be a middle ground...and appropriateness.
Parents need to set limits...we all know kids want them...we wanted them.
And if you punish them...it doesn't mean to beat them..but make it real..fuck the time out. If you tell them they lose a priviliege then make sure they lose that privilege until the agreed upon time...you let up one day...one hour...one minute that's a victory in a kids mind.
12 year old girls don't need tongue..nose or belly piercings. If she wants all that then make her earn it through responsible action. Like get a drivers license and a job and then pay for it.
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ok Eroswebmaster, I see where you're coming from now..
I don't know how you got the idea that this is how I'm raising my children, because it definitely isn't.
To me there's a difference between letting children do what they want so you won't be bothered by them, and letting them do what they want in a way that teaches them how to be on their own and be successful at it.
I'm a worrying mom.. I worry constantly and am always looking for signs of problems. I talk to my kids a lot.
I see parents that smother their children with strictness, in fear that they are going to do something wrong, then when they turn 18 they all of a sudden let them go into a world they aren't prepared for. I also see children that do bad things thinking they are getting away with something, when in fact, it's their own lives they're ruining.. I hear them say.. my parents are going to kill me.. they say it to me.. my kids friends... when it's the deed itself and how it affects them they should be focused on.. not the parents reaction to it.
I thought long and hard about how I was going to raise my kids, and I waited until I was ready. I had my daughter when I was 35 and my twin boys when I was 40.
My daughter is now 18 and going to college in the fall. She got herself a scholarship with no help from me, I was very proud that she could accomplish that on her own.
Eroswebmaster, I agree with you 100% there are parents out there that just were never meant to have children. There are children having children.. it's a sad situation.. all I was saying is that by the time children get to the age of 12, the way they will be as an adult is already formed, I didn't say they didn't need any more guidance.. they need even more then.. but forcing them to do things, or not to do things.. nope.. I don't agree with that at all.. what you're talking about is damage control.. and at it's best, it doesn't work all that well