I picked up this rather "plain" looking girl one night. Took her home, parents were away for the weekend, and proceeded to fuck her all night.
In the morning my brother walked into my bedroom sat on the end of the bed and the girl was so plain I hid under the covers. She was looking for a threesome with brothers, I was looking for a hole to swallow me up.
She was also a little over weight.
And, just remembered this one.
Was making a movie in Epping Forest, a wood outside London, and was doing a scene with a girl. Director said "ACTION" and I proceeded to do my act. All of a sudden a little dog walked by and started yapping, to be followed by a woman in tweeds who looked rather like the Queen Mum. She greeted the camere crew with a smile and a happy "Good Morning" Then turned to see what they were shooting. She glared and spat out, Good Morning"
I lost my erection.