As quoted by fillet of soul....
They don't tell you that you have bad breath.
CD-- I'd put up with any breath Jenna cared to breath my way. I'd inhale it deeply and love it. I'd even suck on her toes....let's see a stupid teddy bear do that.
They never borrow money.
CD-- I do just fine on my own, it wouldn't be Jenna's money I'd be focusing on.
They never beat you at checkers.
CD-- Jenna could beat me with anything
(and I suck at checkers)
They don't complain when you eat potatoe chips in bed.
CD-- I'd eat Jenna while she eats potato chips in bed.
Tehy don't laugh at your clothes.
CD-- Jenna wouldn't have much need for clothes around me.
They never borrow your favortie sweater.
CD-- so?
They don't outgrow you intellectually.
CD-- duhhhhhh huh??
Tehy don't eat all your chocolate chip cookies.
CD-- Pls see potato chip answer above
They are never disloyal, critical or ungrateful.
CD-- Neither are they helpful, encouraging or appreciative.
They don't interrupt when you are talking.
CD-- I'd find other ways of occupying my silver tongue with Jenna.
They never tell you that you are too fat.
CD-- We'd burn it off, oh my would we ever burn it off.
They don't eat all the popcorn at the movies.
CD-- I'd feed Jenna popcorn, and whatever else she is hungry for.
NEXT!
They don't get jealous of your other friends.
CD-- HA! the rest of the world's males & the entire lesbian population would be jealous of ME. I'm not the jealous type at any rate.
They don't tell you how to drive.
CD-- I'd be driving miss Jenna. Hey, do teddy bears even know HOW to drive?
They don't hog the bathroom.
CD-- I'd institute an "open-door policy" just for Jenna
BTW...
"you know the honeymoon is over,
the romance a dying flower
when she comes in to take a shit
while you are in the shower" ~~ Also unknown.
They don't embarrass you at parties.
CD-- Wait, let me take this lampshade off my head.....HEY, I wouldn't embarass Jenna ever!!
They never leave dirty socks on the floor.
CD-- Isn't that what hampers are for? (along with storing stinky teddy bears?)
They don't get sick.
CD-- You ever seen a teddy bear start losing it's stuffing? Pathetic, and there's no known cure either.
They never say "I told you so".
CD-- I'm sure Jenna's learned from her mistakes without my negative input. Again, I'd be keeping busy with her in more productive ways.
They are not noisy and they don't have fleas.
CD-- Ever leave one outside for a few days? At least I can shower (with Jenna)
They listen to all of your problems.
CD-- Ya, sure they do.
They are always ready to give you a hug.
CD-- I'd have to be dead and in jail to not be able to hug Jenna
XSqueeze-me.
They always love you, just the way you are.
CD-- Yes, I love her JUST the way she is.
I'd say it's CD - 20, teddy bear - 0
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___________
CD
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