Ask my wife, this is all true.
She is from Maui, so we visit her parents (still in Maui) when we can find time. A few years ago we had gone back for her highschool reunion. We got there a couple of weeks before the reunion.
About 4 days before the reunion, we decided to meet up with one of her friends also returning for the reunion. My wife and her friend are "locals" but i'm not. So I thought I'd get a little sun, before the reunion.
On our way to the beach, we stopped in a little tourist shop. I wanted some sun tan lotion. I got a bottle of "Maui Babe". My wife and her friend laughed their asses off at me. We finally got to the beach, I set out my towel, opened my bottle of Maui Babe, and started to rub it on my body.
"What's that smell?" I thought. It was this horrible stench. It was coming from ME! This lotion, was basically a bunch of food! Pineapple, kiwi, poi, coconut... just a bunch of FOOD!!!
I just though, "oh it must be an island secret" So, I laid back, plugged my nose, and accidently fell asleep. I woke up about an hour and a half later, and was just a little pink.
Well, I didn't get burned, just a little pink. So I guess this stuff didn't work on getting me a tan, but at least I wasn't burned (yet).
It must have been delayed or something, because by that night, I was so red I was almost purple. I was laughing and showing my inlaws, and wife. They didn't think it was as funny as I did.
By the next morning I was in so much pain that even a slight breeze was torture.
Finally they day came for her reunion. It must be a Hawaiian tradition, because each of her friends decided to give me a slap on the shoulder. I'd rather have my cock stomped, than go thru that again.
Sun poisoning is the worst feeling in the world. There is nothing you can do for relief.
Neeless to say, I sold my Maui Babe to the first tourist that would buy it. Fool. MUAHAHAHA
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