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Old 03-29-2004, 12:49 PM  
Ludedude
Suck it!
 
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Who wants to know?
Posts: 4,432
How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at
passing cars to see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. (Do not disguise your voice)

3. Insist that your e-mail address is:
Xena_goddess_of _fire@company name.com
Elvis_the_King @companyname.com

4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want
fries with that.

5. Encourage you colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair
dancing.

6. Put your garbage can on your desk an label it "IN".

7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

8. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over the caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

9. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

10. Reply to everything someone says with : "That's what you think".

11. Finish all your sentences with: "In accordance with the prophecy".

12. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lightens
up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

13. Don't use any punctuation

14. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

15. Ask people what sex they are.

16. Specify that your drive through-order is "to go".

17. Sing along at the opera.

18. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

19. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear
them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your
boss is the opposite gender.

20. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you are doing.
For example: If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom.

21. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

22. Five days in advance, tell your friend that you can't attend their
party because you're not in the mood.

23. Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.

24. Call the psychic hotline and just say : "Guess"

25. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

26. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream : "I won", "I won", "3rd
time this week".

27. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
: "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

28. Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's
the voices in your head that do".

29. Tell your children over dinner : "Due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go".

30. Every time you see a broom, yell : "Honey your mother is here".
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