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When you go to the courthouse just talk about "those damn ******s", "money grubbing jews", and "fucking faggot queers".
Or better still, pretend to be very eager to be on a jury. Tell them how you never miss an episode of Texas Justice or the People's Court and you'll be happy to help the Judge with the finer points of the law. You should also mention that you can tell if someone's guilty just by looking at them.
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"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats."
--H.L. Mencken
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