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Man, AlienQ..... all bullshit aside, I will post serious ..
I Hope things workout for you, I would be innterested in talking with you further... I would say take some time to clear your thoughts, but that is not always easy when time is not on your side, so I will spare you the generalities on some good advice.. there has been several posted. i.e.
Take a nature walk (hike)
go to gym
etc.....
You seem to be a really good guy here, (I of course do not always agree with your point of view) but you seem very geniune, and have been very candid (if your post is real, I believe you do not try the fake shit, so I believe it is)
Good luck bro.....
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