Hey Sweet Jimmy,
First go to Pimpwar.com so I can crack bomb your ass!
Second, your first two rules can easily be bypassed. If it's for a joke, cool I get it. If it's for security, you need to get another one.
Not to expose it but, all you need to do is hold town the left mouse button first, then right click.
Also, love the oj link, funny. LOL
And finally welcome to GFY, now GO FUCK YOURSELF!!
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