If you're going to Wailea, it's hard to argue with the Grand Wailea. Personally, I prefer to stay at the Palms of Wailea as well (AwfulKoffel, you've got great taste
).
I wouldn't stay in Kihei, Lahaina or Kanapali either -- too touristy.
The other big option is to head north to Kapalua (better golfing). I prefer the Kapalua Bay Hotel (Starwood, but really nice). Just don't get suckered into the Ritz -- chain is on a serious downhill slide, and this one's no exception.
And if you don't hit Nick's Fishmarket down in Wailea, you're doing yourself a disservice. Love that place!