Ice

Canadian Temperature Guide

50* Fahrenheit (10* C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably,
Canadians plant gardens.

35* Fahrenheit (1.6* C)
Italian cars won't start,
Canadians drive with the windows down.

32* Fahrenheit (0* C)
American water freezes,
Canadian water gets thicker.

0* Fahrenheit (-17.9* C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat,
Canadians have the last barbecue of the season.

- 60* Fahrenheit (-51* C)
Mt. St. Helens freezes,
Canadians Girl Guides sell cookies door to door.

- 100* Fahrenheit (-73* C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole,
Ottawa canal opens for skating.

- 173* Fahrenheit (-114* C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes,
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

- 460* Fahrenheit (-273* C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops,
Canadians start saying, "Cold eh?"

- 500* Fahrenheit (-295* C)
Hell freezes over,
Leafs finally win Stanley Cup!

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