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Titus,
You are correct.
Always best to get your own merchant acct when dealing with product sales, either adult products or mainstream products.
You can start cheap and just use oscommerce.com shopping system. great cart, lots of mods for anything you want to do with it, etc.
Using a 3party gateway is ok, but with products, just use a regular gateway, i.e. authorize.net, linkpoint, skipjack, etc.
Of course be tough on fraud with your orders, do avs check, i.e. zip and add match with usa customers and others if possible, cvv2 check, ip checking, etc
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