dont take offense to this (i hate it when men and women both say this one made me do it or that one made me do it...making that a direct statement or a round about way statement) but you are the one who either created who she has become or added to her being spoiled and getting her way.
i understand you wanted to do the right thing, but no one ever told you to buy the house she wanted. no one told you to pay for her college. no one told you to bring in her brother. it's your money and employment that made all this possible. these are all decisions you made and now because you have given her her way for so long, you cant understand why she demands this from you.
again, you were compassionate or maybe she was the best piece of ass you ever had and wanted to hold onto it; either way, you made the decision and now you want to call her spoiled for telling you what she wants.
it doesnt work that way and for you to start laying down demands of your own may cause a problem.
i dont know you or your relationship but from what you wrote, you are the creator or at least the helper (provided she was this way when you met her) of this now very touchy situation.
trust me, if you were a woman writing this, i would say the same thing.
hopefully she understands what you are telling her and all this will go away but if it doesnt then you have to take part if not all of the responsibility........
btw i didnt read anymore of this thread other then your post so.......