Rictor

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were standing in a line before a firing squad. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the
brunette yells "TORNADO!" All the people turned around and looked and the brunette ran away.
Next, it's the redhead's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the redhead yells "HURRICANE!" Once again all the
people turn around to look for the hurricane and the redhead runs away.
Finally, it's the blonde's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the blonde yells "FIRE!" and gets shot.

Q. What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown?
A. Artificial intelligence.

There's a brunette standing in the middle of a street jumping up and down, counting "57, 57, 57." A blonde walks up to her and
decides that this game could be fun. She asks the brunette if she can play too and the brunette says, "Sure." So the two jump up and
down counting "57, 57, 57." Suddenly, the brunette jumps onto the curb and the blonde gets hit by a truck. The brunette goes back
into the street and starts jumping again, counting "58, 58, 58."

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening
to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said "I can't take this, you're my
friend." The blonde said "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

Q. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
She got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of her legs and was still stuck.

Q. What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A. A rebel without a clue!

Then there was the blonde who was so stupid that all the other blondes noticed...


On a flight from New York to Paris, soon after take-off the pilot announces: "I'm sorry, but we have lost one of our engines.
Subsequently, we will arive in Paris approximately half an hour late."
A few minutes later, he comes on again:
"Hate to disappoint you folks, but another engine is down. Don't panic - we've still got two going, but now we'll be about 2 hours
late."
After another few minutes, he comes on again:
"Look, I am really sorry about this, but somehow we have lost our third engine. Still nothing serious to worry about, but we will be
about five hours late to Paris."
After hearing this, the blonde turns to the guy sitting next to him and remarks,
"If we lose the other one, we'll be up here all night."

Q. What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
A. The 1995 Hide and Seek World Champion.

Q.Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M & M factory?
A. She kept throwing out all the W's.

One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and
get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the
circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed
her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now
laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggled and replied, "When you weren't looking, I
stepped out of the circle three times!"


Q. Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container?
A. Because it said (from) "Concentrate".

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde all escape from a prison together. They run into the nearby woods and all climb up seperate
trees. When the police find the redheads tree and ask who is up there, the redhead chirps like a bird. Then the police go to the
brunette's tree. When they ask who is up there, the brunette makes chipmunk noises. Finally, when the police go to the blonde's tree
and ask who is up there, the blonde goes,"MOOOOOOOOOO!"


A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a deserted island together. The island is 20 miles from the nearest inhabited
island so they all decide to try to swim there. The redhead makes it 10 miles, is exhausted, gives up, and drowns. The brunette makes
it 15 miles before she's too tired to go any farther and drowns. The blonde gets 19 miles away from the deserted island, decides she's
too tired to go any farther, and swims all the way back to the deserted island.

Q. How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A. Shine a flashlight in her ears.

Q. What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A. You hear about them all the time, but you never see one.

Q. A blonde and a brunette are pushed out of an airplane. Which one hits the ground first?
A. The brunette, because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

Q. What do you call 25 blondes standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.

Q. What do you call 10 blondes in a refridgerator?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You can park in the handicap zone.

Q. How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A. There's white-out on the screen.

Q. How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A. There's writing on the white-out.

Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing?
A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
A. "Thanks for the refill!"

Q. Why do blondes have more fun?
A. They are easier to keep amused.

Q. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A. To see what was on the other side.

Q. What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A1. Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2. Stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Q. What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A. Change.

Q. Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle after only 6 months?
A. Because on the box it said: From 2-4 years.

Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q. What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A. Spot.

Q. How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A. Give her a bag of M & M s and tell her to alphabetize them.

Q. What goes: VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH?
A. A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A. She missed.

Q. What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase?
A. "It's okay Daddy, I'm not hurt."


Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of a Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Blonde #1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

Blonde #2: Well you better hurry up and try harder, because it's starting to rain and the top is down!

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Did you hear about the blonde who locked her keys in the car? It took her an hour to get her family out of the car.

Q. How do blonde brain cells die?
A. Alone

There was this typical peroxide blonde. She was really tired of being made fun of and being called a ditz, so she decided to get a
makeover. She went to a salon and had her hair done so that she was, once again, a brunette. Now that she was a brunette, she
decided she would take a drive in the country. So she hopped into her convertible and started driving.
She saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer
and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, looking skeptical, said she could.
So the blonde looked at the flock and said, "157." The farmer was amazed because she was right. She picked one out and was
getting in her car when the farmer walked up to her.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

Q. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A. Pregnant

Three blondes were walking through a forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think these are bird tracks."
The second blonde looked at them and said, "No, these are deer tracks."
The third blonde looked down, and BOOM!!! she gets run over by a train.

A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she'd like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she'd like to
have it cut into: six or twelve.
"Oh, goodness, six please," said the blonde. "I don't think I could ever eat twelve!"

One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The
blonde looked up and said, "Where?"