Rictor

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something.
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 and
he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister.
Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

After leaving a store, a blonde walked out and went up to a soda machine. The blonde put in 50 cents and out popped a coke. She
searched her bag for more money. She found some and kept feeding the machine money. Cokes and Sprite and Mountain Dew bottles
began rolling down the street.
A young man walked up behind her and watched this for a few minutes. Then he asked, "Can I get one now?"
She whizzed around and yelled, "No way, can't you see I'm winning?"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are standing in front of the Mirror of Truth. It sucks up and kills anyone who tells a lie in front
of it. So the brunette says, "I'm the smartest person in the world." She gets sucked up and dies.The redhead says,"I've got the most
curly hair," and she gets sucked up and dies also. The blonde says,"I think....." and she gets sucked up and dies.

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come
up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are
popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows... "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes
show up and soon their voices are joined in "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the
table erupts. Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days,
51 days!"
The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed
child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster.
When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?" The
blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the
record straight.
Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together....the side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51
days!"

Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in
Atlantic City. The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus and the blonde team rides on the top level.
The brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from
the blondes upstairs, so she decides to go up and investigate.
When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road and clutching the seats
in front of them. They all have white knuckles.
The brunette asks, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!"
One of the blondes looks up and says to her, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"

A red head walks into a salon and the hair stylist says your hair is gorgeous and the redhead runs her hand through her hair and says
It's natural.
Then a brunette walks in and the stylist says I love you hair and the brunette runs her hand through her hair and says it's natural.
Then a blonde with green streaks walks in and the stylist says "That's different..." The blonde sneezes, wipes it on her hand and
runs her hand through her hair and says, "It's natural!"


Once a blonde decided to go ice fishing. She grabbed all her equipment and put on her fishing outfit.. She walked out onto the icy
surface and found a good spot. She took a knife and made a large circle in the ice with it.
"NO! Not there! You will find no fish!" a booming voice announced out of nowhere. So the blonde moved a few feet away and
made another circle. "NO!! Not there either!!" The voice boomed again. The blonde moved a third time, making another circle on
the ice.
"I said, NO!! There is no fish there!!" The voice boomed again.
"Is that you, God?" The blonde called out.
"NO!!" The voice boomed. "It's the manager of the ice rink!!"

Q. If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building, who would hit the ground first?
A. The brunette because the blonde would stop for directions.

Q. How do you get a blonde to laugh at a joke on Saturday?
A. Tell it to her on Tuesday.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde had just robbed a bank and they were trying to escape from the cops. They ran down an alley
and saw three huge potato sacks. They hopped inside just in time, and the cops didn't see them. Puzzled, the cops looked at the bags
suspiciously. One cop kicked the brunette's bag, she meowed, and the cop thought nothing of it. He then kicked the redhead's bag, she
made a clanking noise with her shoes, and the cop thought it was just some garbage. Then he moved on to the blonde's bag. He kicked
it and she said "Potatoes!"

Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde walk down a beach when suddenly the brunette discovers a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the
lamp and POOF! a magic genie appears. The genie tells the girls that he will grant them three wishes, so each girl will have a turn. The
redhead goes first and tells the genie that she's always been really smart and she is sick of being teased, so she asks the genie to make
her just semi-smart. Suddenly the redhead is turned into a brunette.
Next, the brunette takes her turn. She tells the genie that she has always just been sort of smart and she wants to be really smart.
Suddenly the brunette becomes a redhead.
Finally, it's the blonde's turn. She thinks for a minute and then tells the genie that she's always been dumb and she's tired of being
dumb. The blonde says that she wants to be really dumb. Suddenly, the blonde becomes a man!

Q. Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?
A. To remind her that "toes go in first."

Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
A. Run like hell - she's got a grenade in her mouth!

One day a blonde, red-head, and a brunette were driving through the desert when all of a sudden their car broke down. They decided
they would all walk to civilization. The red-head said, "I'm going to take water so if I get thirsty I can drink it." Then the brunette said,
"I'm going to take some food so if I get hungry I can eat." And then the blonde said "I'm going to take the car door, so if I get hot, I
can roll the window down!"


One day there was a blonde riding a horse. The horse kept going faster and faster until the blonde fell off, with her foot getting
stuck in the stirrup. Hearing her screams for help, finally a Wal-Mart clerk came over and turned off the merry-go-round.


A blonde walks into a hair salon to get her hair cut wearing headphones. The stylist asks her to take off her headphones but the
blonde refuses. So the stylist takes them off and the blonde collapses to the ground and dies. The stylist picks up the headphones and
hears, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."


A blonde was riding in the back of a pick-up truck when the truck went off the road and went into a pond. Some neighbors came
out to see what happened and waited for the blonde to come out of the water. When she finally did, the neighbors asked her what took
her so long. She replied, "I couldn't get the tail-gate unlocked."


A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned.
Her husband came home and found her dead in the bathtub.