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Sex is important in a relationship to create a bond between two people. Only time it is acceptable to hold off is when one has to go off on a trip, a serious trama/accident or she has her period.
When either one fucks around on the other - then that bond is broken / trust is gone and the relationship will decay.
Despite what anyone says, you cannot separate your emotions when having an affair. you can have a relationship without sex - but you really do need the right combination of personalities to make it work. Trust !!
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