I had a guy call me today trying to flog me 'internet services' including SEO services.
He started out his speil with 'Would you be surprised to hear that your website (non-pr0n) has a google rating of 0 in 10?' (He asks me this on the day when google is playing around with PR and displaying everyone in the UK as PR nil.)
So I said to him 'Did you look at my site yesterday? It was PR 4 then and it will be again tomorrow after google sorts itself out.' (I'm not sure whether he really thought I had no page rank as he'd not been to my site before today or whether he thought that I didn't know what PR was. Idiot.)
He sort of ignored my response and started telling me what his 'Search Engineers' could do for me for ONLY £149 start up and £149 quarterly. I let him waste his time blathering on about what they do with search terms and alt tags and blah blah blah. When he gets to the end he says 'So what do you think? We're the cheapest SEO company in the UK and get the best results.'
I said 'Sounds fine, although I'd much rather do it myself for free and get the same results.'
He gave up after that.
