1. Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
2. Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow.
3. What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Well, in winter time he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
5. If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.
6. If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
7. Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do.
8. Make good use of your cylindrical filing unit, the one you mainly keep under your desk.
9. Statistics are like a lamp-post to a drunken man - more for leaning on than illumination.
10. A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of someone else's?
11. Is your work done? Are all pigs fed, watered and ready to fly?....
12. I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just some bastard with a torch, bringing me more work.
