I never use the word faggot when referring to someone who is gay. The only time I use the word is when I am angry with a straight male and I don't use it to call him gay, I use it to mean he's acting ignorant. I don't really think of the word faggot as a gay term anymore, either. Just like the word gay has gone from meaning "happy" to meaning "homosexual" to noe often meaning "annoying" or "stupid".
For example, if someone puts up a HUGE-ASS sign in their yard that says "VOTE FOR BLAH McBLAH FOR US SENATE!" you might say, "Oh my god, that is SO gay!" But that isn't something one would typically expect only a gay person to do, so when you say it you aren't meaning anything even remotely related to homosexuality.
I DO think use of the word faggot directed at a gay person is wrong. I would never do it, just like I don't use words like queers, ******s, slants, slopes, gooks, camel jockeys, (or anything else Archie Bunker might say) when referring to human beings. People are people, and that's all there is to it as far as I'm concerned.
Besides, it's all in how you say it. I know someone who doesn't like Hispanic people, and when she says the word Mexican she hisses and sort of growls the word. To me, that's worse than playfully calling a hispanic person that you know well a wetback. Sometimes it's all in how you say it, and what you mean when you say it, not in the word itself.