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Homer: "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose; it's how drunk you get."
Homer: "Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did You see them at the picnic? Oh, of course You did... You're everywhere, You're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did You spite me with this family?"
Homer: "I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here."
"We need some more secret sauce. Put the mayonnaise in the sun." -- Manager at Krusty Burger
Homer: "I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!"
Homer: "I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES."
I really like Chief Wiggum's zingers myself:
"Ok folks, back away nothin to see here... Oh my god a horrible plane wreck! Hey everybody crowd around, come on don't be shy crowd around."
"Ah jeez, can't you people take the law into your own hands?"
Dr. Nick Riviera: Don't worry, Homer, you won't feel a thing. These drugs will make the operation seem like a wonderful dream.
(Punches Homer out, and injects himself with the drugs!)
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