Originally Posted by CurrentlySober

When she starts up, wander over to her, mumbling to yourself incoherently and proceed to shit yourself.

Smile as you do so, drool from your mouth, and maintain eye contact as you perform the act, & then remain close enough for her to smell it...

The only way to get away from you will be to curtail the phone call, or to continue it elsewhere...

Simply repeat & do the same every time she comes outside to make the call - She will soon stop... That's one of the great things about poo - It transcends any language barriers, and speaks for itself.