09-13-2003, 12:35 PM
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Planet Earp
Posts: 6,041
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Quote:
Originally posted by dougeetx
A buddy of mine sent me this in email. Good lessons here!
>> > 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a
>>cup
> of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will
>be almost instantly removed.
>2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
>getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
>3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by
> simply peeing in the sink.
>4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed
>for a few minutes thus, reducing the pressure in your veins.
>
>5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent
>you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the
>snooze button.
>6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then
>you will be afraid to cough.
>
>
> The five (5) most essential words for a healthy, vital
>relationship
>> > > are, > > > > > > "I apologize," and "You are right." > > >
>> > > > > > > > > > > Remember; Everyone seems normal until you
>>get to know them! > > > > > > Never pass-up an opportunity to
>>go potty... > > > > > > > > > > > > > If you woke breathing,
>>Congratulations! You get another chance. > > > > > > > > > > > > >
>>And finally, Be really nice to your family and friends, you never
>>know > > > > > > when you might need them to empty your bedpan! >
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